James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of ignorant, slack-jawed, hateful bigots call themselves my people?" What will happen to a generation of Oklahoma students after the Bible is forced into their classrooms? If you ask one of that...

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN accidentally forwarded me a copy of some of the questions that will be asked of current President Joe Biden and current 34-time convicted felon Donald J. Trump when they square-off...
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Man Burning Cross in MAGA Hat Says Democrats Are the ‘Real Racists’

WALLACE, GEORGIA -- A man in a MAGA hat burning a cross on the...

Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick

BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model Jeff Sessions held...

POLL: Literally F_ _king Nobody Wants This Douchebag to Run for President Right Now

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- This week, several outlets reported that former New York...

Obama Releases List of States That Have Legally Barred Him From Running Charities

SECRET COMMUNIST SHARIA BUNKER, KENYA -- Former President Barack Hussein Obama has, for the...

Burnett and Trump Teaming Up Again on “The Apprentice: Outhouse”

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- Before he was the most powerful man in the free world,...

Bill Gates Explains His Anxiety About Rising Tax Rates to Woman Returning His Missing Wallet With $500,000,000 In It

OVER THE RAINBOW, WASHINGTON -- At the time of publication, Bill Gates -- the...

Projections Show U.S. Could Fund Medicare For All For 400 Years Charging $1 To Punch Mitch McConnell In the Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The idea of "Medicare for All" -- expanding the United States'...

Tennessee Man Suing To Shut Down His Local Taco Bell Because It’s ‘Too Mexican’

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- When right-wing podcaster, YouTube sensation, and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins...

This Cat ‘Pretty Sure’ He’d Be a Better President Than Donald Trump

NEW CATFORD, NEW YORK -- Mr. Whisker Bottoms is a Feline-American. He is currently residing...

Did Epstein Run Black Market Pizza Joints Using a Pedophile Ring as Cover to Sell Uranium to Russians to Cover Up Benghazi?

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Undoubtedly, the arrest of billionaire Jeffrey Epstein on multiple charges of...

President Requires Dirt on Joe Biden Before Pardoning Any Turkeys

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- For many years, a time honored tradition of American politics has...

5 Things Every Socialist Moocher Liberal Should Be Thankful Fo

The following is reprinted from a pamphlet being given by Congressional Republicans to their...

Latest articles

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...

Steve Bannon Wants You to Send Him Copies of Obama’s and Hillary’s Books While He’s in Prison

"I aggressively fantasize about both of them in my dreams." After writing about politics for...

Ashley’s Diary, Hunter’s Laptop, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and the Bible: All the Facts I Need

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump 2024 surrogate Dustin Pewpsin....