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James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler
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Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of ignorant, slack-jawed, hateful bigots call themselves my people?" What will happen to a generation of Oklahoma students after the Bible is forced into their classrooms? If you ask one of that...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN accidentally forwarded me a copy of some of the questions that will be asked of current President Joe Biden and current 34-time convicted felon Donald J. Trump when they square-off...
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MAGA News

Jordan Demands Hunter Biden Testify About Why Hillary Won’t Testify About Benghazi’s Connection to Trump’s Call to Ukraine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, Rep. Jim Jordan (R-Trump's Rectum) was given his first opportunity...
MAGA News

Titanically Stupid Moron Spends His Precious Time as Dipshit in Chief Live-Tweeting His Own Impeachment

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States is perhaps the most powerful...
MAGA News

Schiff Finds McConnell In Trump’s Ass While Trying to Calculate How Far He Can Fit His Shoe Up There

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, Rep. Adam Schiff was still working...
MAGA News

Lindsey Graham: “You Can’t Impeach Trump Until I Stop Blowing Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina may have, at some point,...
MAGA News

Haley: “If You Just Close Your Eyes and Plug Your Ears, You Can Tell Trump is Truthful and Fit for Office”

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Former South Carolina governor Nikki Haley is on a...
MAGA News

Trump Demands Army Promote Him From Cadet To Major General Bone Spurs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Not long after completing his Veterans Day speech in New York...
Lifestyle

Trump Boys Wish Happy Veterans Day to ‘All The Doggy and Kitty Doctors in America’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- After watching their father deliver a speech written by...
MAGA News

President Trump: ‘I Like Honoring The Veterans Who Were Never Captured More’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Trump paced around the White House lawn and...
Criminal Justice

Trump Will Only Pardon Turkey That Voted For Him

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump said that he would continue a...
MAGA News

Mitch McConnell: “Trump’s Not Above the Law, It Just Doesn’t Apply to Him”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell told reporters outside the rotunda today...
Immigration

MAGA Boy: “My Family Didn’t Come Here from Europe to Let No Immigrants In!”

COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- On the latest edition of his podcast, right-wing YouTube...
Criminal Justice

Turkey Passes On Trump’s Presidential Pardon

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's been a longstanding tradition in America for the sitting president...
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Latest articles

Lifestyle

God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools

"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
U.S. Politics

Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions

Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...
U.S. Politics

Steve Bannon Wants You to Send Him Copies of Obama’s and Hillary’s Books While He’s in Prison

"I aggressively fantasize about both of them in my dreams." After writing about politics for...
U.S. Politics

Ashley’s Diary, Hunter’s Laptop, Obama’s Birth Certificate, and the Bible: All the Facts I Need

The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump 2024 surrogate Dustin Pewpsin....

© James Schlarmann (All Material is Satirical)