James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are pretty much the same thing. I mean, if they weren't, wouldn't all the conservatives who were...raising alarms about the lack of free speech on college campuses be freaking out about...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...
spot_img

Keep exploring

Local Man Pretty Sure He Can Convince Himself to Masturbate

SPAYNK RIVER BANK, MISSOURI -- In a sleepy town located on the banks of...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated, Overwrought Bootyhole) is...

Eric Trump Urges His Dad to Shut the Obamagate, Obamadoor, and Obamawindows

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the past couple of days, Americans have begun to hear...

Trump Supporter Plummets to His Death After Fauci Advises to Stay Away From Bridges on Windy Days

Oh, hello there! Did you come here thinking you'd find yet another stunning example of...

Fox News Medical Non-Experts Not Sure Americans Should Be Listening to Dr. Fauci Anymore

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Three of Fox News' least-learned and un-certified medical non-experts...

President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States has suffered 83,...

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon Musk wanted his...

Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused on what is...

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen in the 244...

Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Depending on whether the federal judge in his criminal case allows...

Nation Devastated to Learn Trump Officials Will Likely Recover from Coronavirus Infections

All across the United States, Americans are finding out that the executive branch of...

Coronavirus Worries About Its Exposure to Stephen Miller

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the country wakes up and reads more and more reports...

Latest articles

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...