James Schlarmann

Comedian/Satirist/Amateur Burrito Wrangler

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I think a woman is programmed by God himself to be my willing sex and food preparation slave." If there's one thing we all know about abortion bans, it's that they keep...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity from prosecution  -- even for attempting coups -- that we're headed in the wrong direction as a country. And sure, if you're one of those libtarded cucks who thinks self-governance...
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To Sidestep Having His Mic Cut, Trump Plans to Share Biden’s Podium

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump absolutely loves to interrupt and talk over his debate...

Don Jr Mocks Hunter Biden For Having a Dad Who Loves and Cares About Him

It would appear that for the next two weeks or so, the Trump 2020...

Through Tears of Joy, Lung Cancer Tells Radio Audience Its Stage 4 Limbaugh Infection Has ‘Almost Run Its Course’

CHINGADERO GORDO, FLORIDA -- Fighting through tears of joy, Lung Cancer told its radio...

Biden Promises He’ll Hold a Big Ceremony to Hang Trump’s Presidential Mugshot

WEST HAMPTON, OHIO -- This morning, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden made a campaign...

Trump Complains Debate Moderator Will Ask Questions About His Real Record Instead of His Imaginary One

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States of America is the most...

Dr. Dre Fauci Suggests Trump May Want to Have Himself Tested for ‘Punkassbitchitis’

Fauci's gangster alter ego is taking no shit from nobody.

Trump Pre-Declares Premature Victory

"That is a really terrible, ridiculous thing to ask me, and frankly you should be in prison for even thinking you have the right to speak to me that way."

Ratcliffe: “Putin Has Assured Me Hunter Biden’s Laptop Isn’t Russian Disinformation”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning former Congressman John Ratcliffe, Director of National Intelligence, told...

Trump Tweets ‘Hilarious’ Babylon Bee Article That Uses The N-Word 735 Times “Satirically”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the White House has indicated President...

Lindsey Graham Spotted Rushing to White House With UV Light and Colonoscopy Hose

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The frantic, urgent exclamations could be heard throughout the Hill this...

Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to...

Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so...

Latest articles

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...

A Bald Eagle Protecting an American Flag Reminded Me Holocaust Denier JK Rowling Can’t Sue Me

Author JK Rowling is not a fan of transgender people, that much is true....