Area Man Misinterprets Wife’s Request for a Facial

Published on

Tustin, CA — Tustin husband and father of three Jarrett Roush had a lot of explaining to do when he accidentally misunderstood his wife’s request for a facial on their 14th wedding anniversary this past week. According to longtime family friend Harry Perez, Mr. Roush was extremely embarrassed about the situation.

“Yeah, Jarrett’s a good guy, you know?” said Mr. Perez speaking with Gish Gallop earlier this week. “He thought he understood what she wanted, you know. And he really wanted to give it to her, but then she’s like, ‘that’s not what I wanted at all.’ Boy I really feel bad for him.”




Earlier in the week, Carolyn Roush started hinting about what she wanted for their big day. It’s well-known that Jarrett has forgotten previous anniversaries, so Ms. Roush started leaving notes around the house to remind him.

“I’m pretty bad at remembering things like this. I’m bad at remembering anything,” laughed Mr. Roush as he scratched his head. “I mean, the notes really helped, you know? It’s just that I got it all backwards.”

According to Ms. Roush, he got it all wrong.

“I don’t know how he could have gotten it so wrong,” said Carolyn. “He brought me this gift certificate to Tustin Spas. And it even came in this basket with fresh soaps and citrus body lotions. But what I wanted was his man power all over my face. You know, good, old-fashioned man-spunk. Just like in the porn flicks, you know? To be honest I can’t believe he didn’t get it.”

As for Mr. Roush, he took to Facebook to share his embarrassment.

“I didn’t know what to do, so I sent a few text messages and then I posted ‘I’m sorry babe’ on her Facebook wall. She’s forgiven me, but I’m not going to let this happen again. You can put your money on that.”

Latest articles

Nothing Says Understanding American Freedom Like Cheering for Teenagers to Get Beaten by Cops

"...one thing I have now learned is that fascism and freedom of speech are...

Florida’s Abortion Ban Has This Incel Considering a Move to Florida to Start a New Rape Family

"...Big Feminazi has poisoned the women in my life against me just because I...

I Have a Wish List of Things Dark Brandon Should Do With His Presidential Immunity

Some people might really think that if the Supreme Court says presidents have immunity...

You Can’t Call Me an “Incel” If I Fuck My Cybertruck

The following editorial was written and submitted by right-wing author and 2020 Trump Campaign...