Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Alabama Teenager Rushed to Urgent Care With Uncle’s Baby In Her Eye

COU-ROUGE COUSIN SEXE PARISH, ALABAMA -- Doctors and attending staff in...
James Schlarmann -
Science & Medicine

Space Force Releases Initial Cost Estimate to Yeet Matt Gaetz Into The Sun

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The United States Space Force released a study...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

For the Sake of Bipartisanship, Biden Offers to Call Cruz’s Wife Ugly

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Joe Biden ran on a message of...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

McCarthy Proposes Censuring Rep. Greene’s Crack Dealer

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As House Democrats move quickly to strip her...
James Schlarmann -
Criminal Justice

Ted Cruz: “Maybe We Deserved to Be Insurrected.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Ted Cruz (R-MAGAstan) played a key role...
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Religion

Confused Evangelical Still Can’t Find Anti-Abortion Verses in Bible

CORNHOLE FALLS, IDAHO -- Chad McMichaels is a 36 year old...
James Schlarmann -
Business

Taylor Greene Accuses Donut Shop Worker of Being Secret Jewish Glazer

WASHINGTON, D.C.  -- The crack smoke issuing forth from Qongresswoman Marjorie...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Al Franken Offers to Takeover Marjorie Taylor Greene’s House Seat

ESSENEL, MINNESOTA -- Former Senator Al Franken does not currently live...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Biden Politely Declines Lindsey Graham’s Offer of Four Years of Public Beejers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The note President Biden sent to Sen. Lindsey...
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Business

Robinhood Files Paperwork to Change Its Name to “SheriffofNottingham.”

SWILLY CORN, VALLEY -- Online brokerage trader Robinhood filed emergency paperwork...
James Schlarmann -
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