Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

DeSantis: “I’ll Worry About Kids Getting COVID When They’re Old Enough to Vote”

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- This morning, Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) continued his...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Penis-Shaped Racist Shares His Thoughts on Afghan Refugees With Laura Ingraham

TRANSYLVANIA, FLORIDUH -- Last night on Fox News, host Laura Ingraham...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Greene Asks Taliban for Advice on Overthrowing a Government to Install a Right-Wing Theocracy

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Freshman congresshorse Marjorie Taylor Greene (Q-GA) told reporters...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ivanka: “I Know for a Fact Daddy Could Pull-Out Better”

LAKE DAUGHTERLUST, FLORIDA -- All across pro-MAGA media, President Joe Biden...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

DeSantis Orders All Florida High Schoolers to Participate in Unvaccinated Make-Out Parties

TALLAHASSEE, FLORIDUH -- Gov. Ron DeSantis (Q-FL) has issued an ultimatum...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pro-MAGA Fire Chief Slams Biden for Putting Out 20 Year Old Fire George W. Bush Started

WHISTLING DICK, MONTANA -- This weekend, President Joe Biden performed what...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

George W. Bush Pretty Sure He’s Heard of This “Afghanistan” People Keep Talking About

FORT STRATEGERIE, TEXAS -- Since leaving office in 2008, former President...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Blames Taliban Retaking Afghanistan on Biden Not Sucking Up to Them

FART-A LOT-GO, FLORIDUH -- The former, one-term, twice forever impeached 45th ...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Shockingly, Former Crack Head Might Not Have Been Right About Trump’s Reinstatement

The big day came. The big day went. Despite months of...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Rand Paul Self-Certifies as Lawyer, Says Nothing Wrong With Wife’s Stock Trade

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Doctor Rand Paul (Q-KY) and his wife...
James Schlarmann -
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