Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Abbott Unsure How to Eliminate Rapists from Texas and Still Host Trump Rallies

AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- Gov. Greg Abbott (Q) promised reporters and Texghanistan...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Man Wants Statue ‘Dedicated to Another Traitor Who Lost’ After Robert E. Lee’s Removal

RICHMOND, VIRGINIA -- After 131 years, a monument to General Robert...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pregnant Texas Woman Sues Ex-Boyfriend for Child Support

GILEAD, TEXAS -- In a case that might send reverberations throughout...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Greene Signs Deal to Be Star of New Line of Pro-MAGA Toys: My Little Ponyface

A new line of toys designed for "growing little fascists" has...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pro-Life Baker Devastated When Open Bag of Flour Spills and Aborts His Cake

SCHLAFLY RIVER, TEXAS-- 56-year-old Kellen Masteroni has been a baker in...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Texas Informs Congress It Has Added “-ghanistan” to Its Name

AUSTIN, TEXGHANISTAN -- For for the first time in decades, a...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Webster Changes Definition of “Douchebag” to “See Joe Manchin”

Dictionary publishers have to update their content quite frequently, given how...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Texas Celebrates Its First Ever Forced Labor Day Weekend

AUSTIN, TEXASS -- All over America this weekend, people will be...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

“Let Me Explain Why Rapists Might Be Entitled to $10,000” by Gov. Greg Abbott

The following editorial was written by Gov. Greg Abbott (Taliban-TX), concerning...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Taliban Try to Lure Women Away From Texas With Less Restrictive Laws

KABUL, AFGHANISTAN -- The Taliban are a far-right, deeply religiously fanatical...
James Schlarmann -
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