Yearly Archives: 2021

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Totally Bulls*it News

Cruz: “As Soon as Trump Gives Them Back, I’ll Know If Getting Vaccinated Changed My Balls”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, noted virologist and "Wet Ass Pussy"...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Jr. Mocks Biden for Not Having a Windmill Cancer Vaccine Approved Yet

A smug Donald Trump, Jr. appeared on OAN this morning with...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Early Data Shows Justice for J6 Rally Drew Crowd With More Teeth Than IQ Points

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On Saturday, organizers held the "Justice for J6"...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

AZ Election Auditors Claim Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Switched Votes to Biden

RUBEVILLE, ARIZONA -- This week Cyber Ninjas, the company hired by...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Poll Shows Majority Approves of Aborting Texas

A few weeks back, Texas legislators passed a new six-week restriction...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ivanka Confirms No Change in Her Dad’s Balls Since Getting COVID-19 Vaccine

NEPOTISM LAKE, FLORIDUH -- It's probably the most frequently asked question...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Harvard Med School Opens the Nicki Minaj’s Cousin’s Friend’s Balls Virology Research Center

CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS -- Harvard Medical School has accepted a large grant...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Milley Advised China to Send McNuggets to the White House to Appease Trump

During the final days of the Trump administration, a new book...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Irony: He Took Preventative Ivermectin. COVID Kept Him From a Hospital Bed After a Heart Attack.

BUBONIC FALLS, IDAHO -- 56-year-old Peter Peterson is in dire trouble,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Paul Ryan Researched How to Sneak Ambien Into Big Macs After Trump’s 2016 Victory

According to newly published reports, Donald Trump's election in 2016 blindsided...
James Schlarmann -
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