Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Buttigieg Declares Himself Winner of 2020 General Election

JUMTHAGUN, NEW HAMPSHIRE -- Last night and this morning, South Bend...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Things You Can Do With Diarrhea That Are Like Watching Trump’s State of the Union

President Donald Trump will deliver what could be his final State...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Lung Cancer Devastated to Find Out It Has Advanced Rush Limbaugh

Lung Cancer shocked the carcinogenic community today when it revealed what...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Disney Sues to Shut Down Production and Sale of “Baby Dildoda”

ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA -- The Walt Disney Company filed paperwork in court...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pence: “Clearly What We Need is a Wholesome Halftime Show With Bible Verses and Exposed Penises”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The NFL's Super Bowl Halftime show has become...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Orders Corporate Merger of Kansas and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An errant presidential tweet may lead to the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Obama Endorses Trump’s Re-Election

SHARIA VOODOO LABORATORY, SOROS BUNKER #1 -- In a truly unforeseen...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

USPS Announces “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the...
James Schlarmann -
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