Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Pence: “Clearly What We Need is a Wholesome Halftime Show With Bible Verses and Exposed Penises”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The NFL's Super Bowl Halftime show has become...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Orders Corporate Merger of Kansas and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An errant presidential tweet may lead to the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Obama Endorses Trump’s Re-Election

SHARIA VOODOO LABORATORY, SOROS BUNKER #1 -- In a truly unforeseen...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

USPS Announces “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Murkowski and Alexander to Receive Presidential Medals of Cowardice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump will present two Republican...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Being Fitted for New Crown After Senate Votes Against Impeachment Witnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A D.C. area Burger King has been put...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned...
James Schlarmann -
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