Yearly Archives: 2020

Pence: “Clearly What We Need is a Wholesome Halftime Show With Bible Verses and Exposed Penises”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The NFL's Super Bowl Halftime show has become...

Trump Orders Corporate Merger of Kansas and Missouri

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An errant presidential tweet may lead to the...

Obama Endorses Trump’s Re-Election

SHARIA VOODOO LABORATORY, SOROS BUNKER #1 -- In a truly unforeseen...

USPS Announces “Whatever” Stamps For Customers Who Just Can’t Right Now

The United States Postal Service has announced that they are adding...

Mexico Agrees to Pay For Stephen Miller’s Hair Plugs

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador dropped what...

Senate Votes to Lower the Law So It’s Just Beneath Trump

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a narrow, nearly party line vote, the...

Enormous Rug and 51 Brooms Delivered to Senate Chamber

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that...

Murkowski and Alexander to Receive Presidential Medals of Cowardice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump will present two Republican...

Trump Being Fitted for New Crown After Senate Votes Against Impeachment Witnesses

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A D.C. area Burger King has been put...

Environmental Conservation Group Fears Extinction of the Vertebrate Republican

Biological researchers and conservationists at the World Wildlife Foundation are concerned...