Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Assures Governors He Stands Ready to Take Credit for Their Hard Work Battling Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- On a call with the nation's fifty governors,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Wonders If Doctors, Nurses Could’ve Saved As Many Lives Without His Own Dick In His Mouth

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If there's one thing Americans have learned about...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Bernie or Bust Voter Won’t Vote For DNC Shill Bernie Sanders After Biden Endorsement

VALLE IZQUIERDA, CALIFORNIA -- When Bernie Sanders endorsed Joe Biden's presidential...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

President Trump Worried Extended Coronavirus Lockdowns Might Cause Burrito Covering Shortages

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump: “What’s The Point of Lying If Jerks In The Press Are Going To Tell Everyone I Lied?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- An angry President Trump lashed out at the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Hannity Accuses Fauci of Being Part of ‘Deep State Plot’ to Make Trump ‘Look Bad By Saving Lives’

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- On his radio show this morning,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ghoulish Narcissistic Con Man: “Who Gives a Fuck How Many People Die If My TV Ratings Are Good?!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A tubby, ghoulish, narcissistic con man -- who...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Jesus Still Doesn’t Know Why Everyone Calls the Day He Was Executed “Good Friday”

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- A visibly annoyed Jesus Hubert Christ,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

RBG: “Hey Assholes! I’m Not Immortal, So Which Old White Guy You Trust More to Find My Replacement?”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg issued an...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Quarantine Panic! Man Already Masturbated to Everything on Pornhub That Doesn’t Involve Incest

STROHK LAKE, CALIFORNIA -- "Wait. Son of a bitch! I've gone...
James Schlarmann -
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