Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Whiny Bitch Throws Toys Out of Crib, Storms Out of Presser

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, Americans witnessed a sight they'd never seen...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Putin Gives Trump Permission to Rehire Michael Flynn

MOSCOW, RUSSIA -- Depending on whether the federal judge in his...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Nation Devastated to Learn Trump Officials Will Likely Recover from Coronavirus Infections

All across the United States, Americans are finding out that the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Coronavirus Worries About Its Exposure to Stephen Miller

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As the country wakes up and reads more...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Doctors Discover Fatal Rectal Cancer in Department of Justice

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Doctors in the nation's capital discovered what they're...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Experts Warn: U.S. Economy Now as Depressed By Trump as Americans Are

The April 2020 jobs report is in, and it's an absolute...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Pat Robertson: “Jesus Died For Your Sins. The Least You Can Do Is Die For Trump’s Economy.”

VIRGINIA BEACH, VIRGINIA -- Televangelist Pat Robertson hasn't done much to...
James Schlarmann -
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