Yearly Archives: 2020

Donald Trump ‘Deeply Honored’ By Local Klan Chapter’s Endorsement

Donald Trump picked up another endorsement this week.

Local Man Pretty Sure He Can Convince Himself to Masturbate

SPAYNK RIVER BANK, MISSOURI -- In a sleepy town located on...

Man Dumbfounded That Clothes Left Next to Hamper Are Still Washed and Folded

COLORADO SPRINGS, COLORADO -- A Colorado man has reported miraculous laundry...

Fauci Confirms Rand Paul is a ‘Flaming Douchebag With Absolutely Shitty Hair,’ Medically Speaking

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Medically speaking, Senator Rand Paul (R-Ayn Rand's Overrated,...

Eric Trump Urges His Dad to Shut the Obamagate, Obamadoor, and Obamawindows

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Over the past couple of days, Americans have...

President Worries Never-Trumpers Are Dying of COVID-19 to Make Him ‘Look Bad’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the United States...

World Shocked to Discover Billionaire Just Entitled Sociopath Asshole

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Billionaire and Likely Cartoon Villain Elon...

Trump Promises to Attach Obamagate Evidence to Obama’s Kenyan Birth Certificate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is extremely concerned and hyper-focused...