Yearly Archives: 2020

Satirist Beginning to Suspect He May Secretly Be a Prophet

Aspiring satirist Johnathon Flake expressed a growing conviction to friends and...

Trump Signs Executive Order Demanding Facebook and Twitter Make Him Look Attractive and Competent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump proved his small-government, traditionally conservative...

Coronavirus Update: Area Flasher Desperate for Parks to Open Up Again

NOIX NUES, LOUISIANA -- Chad Stripley has really not enjoyed his...

Lahren Defends George Floyd’s Killer: “Blue Kneels Matter More”

LA VALLE RUBIA PINCHE PUTA, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist...

Trump Demands Twitter Give Alternative Fact-Checks to Democrat Tweets

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump is not pleased at all...

Twitter to Start Putting “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Label on Trump Tweets

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever,...

Twitter Won’t Pull Down Trump’s Tweets About Fucking Jack Dorsey’s Mom

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Twitter has officially declined to pull...

Bill Gates Announces Windows COVID-19 Operating System

SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- In just a couple of weeks, Microsoft will...

Poll: Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice

As the election draws closer, there's little doubt that President Donald...

GoFundMe Established to Pay Legal Fees for “Anyone Who Pisses in Donald Trump’s Face”

A crowdfund has been set up with a special, Trump-specific mission in mind.