Yearly Archives: 2020

Disney Assures Visitors They Can Still Hurl Racist Insults at Employees While Riding Updated Splash Mountain

ANALSLIME, CALIFORNIA -- This week, Disney became the latest corporation to...

Pence: “We Flattened the Curve. We Saved Lives. Iraq had WMD. 2+2=Ketchup.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At a press conference last week, Vice President...

Trump Thought Russians Were Paying the Taliban to Throw Paper Towels at U.S. Soldiers

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an administration seemingly built on and fueled...

Louie Gohmert Dragged Away By Masked Millennials After Saying “Antifa” 3 Times Into Bathroom Mirror

VALLE DE MORMÓN RACISTACALVO, TEXAS -- According to those with firsthand...

Trump Warns His Enemies May Attempt ‘Electoral Coup’ on Him By Voting for His Opponent

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 2020 presidential election is now less than...

Fire Chief Robert T. Moron Suggests Without Smoke Alarms There’d Be No Arson

RIO ESTUPIDO, TEXAS -- At a weekly press conference today, Fire...

Dan Bongino: “Parler is Social Media for People Tired of Hiding Behind Their Red Hats and White Hoods”

LAKE CRÂNE VIDE GÉANT, FLORIDA -- Right-wing commentator Dan Bongino announced...

ISIS Trying to Recruit “Top American Killer” President Donald Trump

When America was attacked on September 11th, 2001, planes were hijacked...

Hasbro Releasing “Trumpnopoly” Board Game Where Winning Players File Bankruptcy and Duck Income Tax

PAWTUCKET, RHODE ISLAND -- During a quarterly conference call with investors,...