Yearly Archives: 2020

Palpatine Blames ‘AntiSith Anarchists’ for Use of Death Star on Alderaan

CORUSCANT -- In an emergency address, Emperor Sheev Palpatine confirmed that...

Trump: “Some Very Fine People Pimped Out Little Girls for Jeffrey Epstein and His Friends!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Once again today, the President of the United...

Trump Blames Antifa for His Small Hands, Mangled Dick, and Obsession with Superior Black Man

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's not a very well-kept secret that President...

White House Admits It Fed Trump Cheeseburgers and Called Them Hydroxychloroquine

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Trump dropped quite a bombshell on...

RBG: “Cancer Can’t Make Me Resign Until It Leaves The White House First”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2019, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg...

President Will Distribute Copies of Mary Trump’s Book at Future MAGA Rallies

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump cannot be all that thrilled...

Emperor Palpatine Defends Attorney General Vader’s Use of Stormtroopers in Portland

CORUSCANT -- As protests mount throughout the galaxy, Emperor Sheev Palpatine...

Poll Indicates Majority of Americans Wish Trump’s Mom Had Been Pro-Choice

As the election draws closer, there's little doubt that President Donald...

Twitter Will Start Slapping “Emotionally Fragile Idiot” Warning on Trump Tweets

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Yesterday, for the first time ever,...