Yearly Archives: 2020

Mostly Bulls*it OpinionsTotally Bulls*it News
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump: “The Buck Stops With Bob Woodward”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The first president to use the phrase "The...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump: “I Didn’t Want to Panic Everyone About the Virus Until I Knew If It Had Brown Skin!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The White House in recent hours has trotted...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Ted Cruz Says Trump’s Dick “Tastes Like a Lifetime Appointment”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Scholars of American history perhaps have never answered...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Tom Cotton Can’t Wait to Be All Up Inside Your Pussies, America

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Maybe it won't happen. In order for it...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

McDitzydick Clarifies: “The President Didn’t Downplay COVID, He Just Played It Down!”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- To say it was a tough day for...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Warns of Biden’s ‘Reckless Competency and Foolish Planning’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If Americans do not re-elect him this fall,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Also Nominated for Nobel Piece of Shit Prize

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump awoke to some...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Smoky-Eyed Lying Fuckstick Defends Former Lying Fuckstick Boss in Two ABC Interviews

FUGLY HEIGHTS, ARKANSAS -- In under 70 days, the general public...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Smokey Bear’s New Slogan: “Only YOU Give a Shit About Your Baby’s Gender”

In 1944, the United States Forestry Department unveiled their new mascot...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Warns That ‘Biden and the Democrats Want to Rip Babies From Their Cages’

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States of America...
James Schlarmann -
1...272829...95Page 28 of 95

Past Posts

© James Schlarmann All Material is Satirical