Yearly Archives: 2020

ABC Town Hall Unfairly Ambushes Dear President With Questions from American Voters

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last night, ABC hosted a town hall discussion with President...

Local Witch Casts “ShutTheFuckUpicus Totallus” Curse on JK Rowling

GODRIC'S HOLLOW, LONDON, UK, THE WIZARDING WORLD -- While it's unclear...

Trump Offers to Loan Army’s Bomb Sniffing Dogs to California

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- If California wants them, President Donald Trump says...

Newly Discovered Life on Venus Declines Offer to Be Taken to Our Leader

BLEEPBLORP, VENUS -- 2020 has been quite a year. "One for...

Alabama GOP Outraged ‘Cuties’ Director Didn’t Invite Roy Moore to World Premiere

BONINSISTERS, ALABAMA -- The Alabama Republican Party issued a scathing rebuke...

Convicted Killer Set Free After Showing Up To Sentencing in a Blue Shirt and Badge

FORT ACAB, TENNESSEE -- A man convicted of first degree murder...

Idiot Wants Moron to Moderate Debate With Biden

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The 2020 presidential election is just over 50...

Trump Encourages Nation to ‘Never Forget’ 9/11 and ‘Always Forget’ Covid-19

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- 19 years ago today, Al Qaeda operatives boarded...

On 9/11, Trump Pauses to Honor the Loss of 1.5% of Those Lost to Coronavirus

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump acknowledged a great American...