Yearly Archives: 2020

Biden Will Ask Trump to Be Fitted With Sweat-Activated Muzzle Prior to Next Debate

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Last night's presidential debate between former Vice President...

300 lb. Toddler Throws 90-Minute Tantrum

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- A massive, 300-pound orange toddler stood on a...

Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax Payment in White House Sofa Cushions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "Daddy! Daddy! Come quick! I just found a...

Why Won’t Joe Biden Agree to a Full Body Cavity Search Before Tonight’s Debate?

What's Joe Biden hiding? Why won't he acquiesce to any of...

Biden Thanks Orange Garbage Bag Full of Molten, Diarrhea for Preparing Him to Debate Trump

CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Tonight, after months of anticipation, the first presidential...

Trump Thought IRS Stood For “I Repulsed Stormy”

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- According to an explosive new report in The New...

Biden: “I Know Watching People Piss Might Be His Thing, But I Won’t Be Taking Trump’s Drug Test”

DELAWARE -- President Donald Trump really, really, really wants former Vice President Joe...

In 2017, Trump Spent $750 in Taxes, and $750,000 in Big Macs

This weekend, The Failing Any Minute Now, We Promise, They Really ARE...