Yearly Archives: 2020

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Totally Bulls*it News

Hair Dye Company “Just For Bridge Trolls” Signs Giuliani to Spokesmodel Contract

It was quite the scene, and when it was all said...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Obama Warns Biden Against Tan Suits and Dijon Mustards

SECRET KENYAN SHARIA BUNKER -- Outgoing President Donald J. Trump may...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Parler Changes Name to “Fecebook”

RIKELAND, NEVADA -- The new social media site known as Parler...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Obama Sends Trump Pop-Up Book Version of His Memoir

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Barack Obama's highly anticipated first presidential memoir,...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Zuckerberg Says He Can’t Ban Steve Bannon Until He Orders the Killing of At Least 15% of Facebook’s Users

SWILLY CORN VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Not long ago, Twitter permanently banned...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Half of Republicans Think Trump Won Re-election and Santa Claus Will Deliver the Evidence Christmas Eve

A new poll published by Reuters today shows that half of...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Impeached Sore Loser Continues to Pout Like a Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than two weeks ago, the country decided...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Florida Swamp and New York Dump Finalists for Trump Presidential Library

Presidential libraries are often planned and built once the nation's chief...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Trump Assures Ivanka She’ll Always Be His First Lady and Bottom Bitch

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- None of the legal proceedings initiated by the...
James Schlarmann -
Totally Bulls*it News

Palpatine Demands Death Star Recount, Claims Empire Won the Battle of Yavin

CORUSCANT -- Emperor Palpatine refuses to concede the Battle of Yavin...
James Schlarmann -
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