Yearly Archives: 2019

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Tech

Special Report: Russian Schools Training Trolls to Misspell Like Average Americans

Saint Petersburg, Russia -- The Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation...
LSplit -
Totally Bulls*it News

China Taunts Trump: Our Wall is Thicker, Longer, Harder

Beijing, China -- In a provocative move designed to get under...
fink -
Lifestyle

Asshole Itching to Give All His Asshole Opinions

THE SHITE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- From within his gated community, sitting...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Don Jr. Explains Why ‘Walls Work’ and Why 6 Six Trillion Illegal Mexicans Come Over Ours Every Second

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- The president's third smartest son and...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Trump to Shoot Somebody on Fifth Avenue to Celebrate MLK Day

Washington, D.C. -- President Trump casually mentioned that he plans on...
fink -
MAGA News

Freshman Democrat Offers Trump Thoughts and Prayers Instead of a Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the numerous new Democratic members of...
James Schlarmann -
Business

Disneyland to Introduce First, Second, and Steerage Class Tickets

ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA -- When Disney announced that they would be dramatically...
James Schlarmann -
Business

Adderall Will Officiallly Sponsor Trump’s Next Prime Time Border Address

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Shire Pharmaceuticals, the company that makes...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Mexico Agrees to Pay for Commercial Time During Trump’s Border Wall Address

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador announced today...
James Schlarmann -
MAGA News

Prime-Time Trump Border Address Will Be Broadcast In English, Spanish, and Moron

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Trump delivers his prime time Oval...
James Schlarmann -
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