Yearly Archives: 2019

Special Report: Russian Schools Training Trolls to Misspell Like Average Americans

Saint Petersburg, Russia -- The Federal Security Service of the Russian Federation...

China Taunts Trump: Our Wall is Thicker, Longer, Harder

Beijing, China -- In a provocative move designed to get under...

Asshole Itching to Give All His Asshole Opinions

THE SHITE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- From within his gated community, sitting...

Trump to Shoot Somebody on Fifth Avenue to Celebrate MLK Day

Washington, D.C. -- President Trump casually mentioned that he plans on...

Freshman Democrat Offers Trump Thoughts and Prayers Instead of a Wall

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- One of the numerous new Democratic members of...

Disneyland to Introduce First, Second, and Steerage Class Tickets

ANASLIME, CALIFORNIA -- When Disney announced that they would be dramatically...

Adderall Will Officiallly Sponsor Trump’s Next Prime Time Border Address

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Shire Pharmaceuticals, the company that makes...

Mexico Agrees to Pay for Commercial Time During Trump’s Border Wall Address

MEXICO CITY, MEXICO -- Mexican President Andrés Manuel López Obrador announced today...

Prime-Time Trump Border Address Will Be Broadcast In English, Spanish, and Moron

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- When President Trump delivers his prime time Oval...