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The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...
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Trump Campaign Legal Team Scouring Constitution for ‘Stamping Feet and Holding Breath’ Clause

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The days are growing shorter, and Donald Trump's legal team is...

Biden Legally Changes Middle Name to “Fuck Trump”

HAWKEYE, DELAWARE -- Today, President-elect Joe Biden did what his transition team is calling...

Win or Lose, Trump is Entitled to Secret Service Protection and Lindsey Graham BJs For Life

The truth is, despite the punditry class and America's elected officials' high-volume assertions, nobody...

On Her 39th Birthday, Ivanka’s Just One Year From Being Traded For Younger, Hotter Daughter

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump told his First Lady that while he wanted...

Dinesh D’Souza Can’t Quite Bring Himself to Call Klansman a “Liberal” to His Hooded Face

IDIOTA, MONTANA -- While on a publicity tour promoting his latest project he calls...

Giuliani Insists He Was Just Going to Tuck-In His Shirt to Completion

NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- Stumbling up to a throng of reporters outside his...

Biden Promises He’ll Hold a Big Ceremony to Hang Trump’s Presidential Mugshot

WEST HAMPTON, OHIO -- This morning, Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden made a campaign...

Pence Just Realized Sucking Trump Off So Much Cost Him Valuable Talking Time During Debate

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A pink-eyed, exasperated Vice President High Priest Mike Pence was so...

Senate Republicans Fear Dems Will Smear Amy Coney Barrett With Her Own Actions, Words, and Religious Beliefs

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Next week, the Senate Judiciary Committee, under chairmanship from Sen. Lindsey...

Eric Finds Daddy’s Next Tax Payment in White House Sofa Cushions

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- "Daddy! Daddy! Come quick! I just found a butt load of...

Lindsey Graham Offering ‘Handies and Half-and-Halfs’ to Campaign Donors

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Senator Lindsey Graham (R-Trump's Taint) has not been coy or reticent...

Trump Issues The Constipation Proclamation

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 1862, as the country fought in pitched battle during the...

Latest articles

The State of Arizona Just Sent Me the Pink Slip for My Wife’s Uterus

"...my wife and I weren't planning any excursions through Arizona to begin with. However,...

Marjorie Taylor Greene Told Me Her New Theory: Hunter’s Dick Pics Caused New York’s Earthquakes

"...when I was researching Hunter's dick pics again last night, I noticed something I...

Because of DEI, My Black Friends Don’t Like My Confederate Flag Collection No More

The following editorial was written by right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Q. Bohiggins. The...

The Easter Bunny Plans to Give Plan-B and Contraceptives to Red State Teenagers

"Did you know there have already been thousands of rape pregnancies as a result...