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Jeff Sessions
Jeff Sessions
Religion
Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State
"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
July 10, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme
The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
July 3, 2024
MAGA News
Jeff Sessions Promises Alabama He’s Still Racist and Mostly Enjoys The Taste of Trump’s Dick
BEDFORD FORREST, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General and Confederate monument model Jeff Sessions held...
November 8, 2019
MAGA News
Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies
When an accident occurred at the Keebler cookie company, Attorney Jeff Sessions needed some quick rescuing.
August 24, 2019
Arts & Entertainment
Jeff Sessions Says Spike Lee Should Be Arrested for Making Joints, Not Given Awards
WHITE HOOD, ALABAMA -- Former Attorney General Jeff Sessions was stopped outside his favorite...
February 25, 2019
The War on Drugs
Jeff Sessions Can Finally Unwind, Smoke a Doob, and Forget About Persecuting Brown People Awhile
GREEN FIELD SPRINGS, CALIFORNIA -- Just after former Attorney General Jeff Sessions announced his...
November 8, 2018
MAGA News
Sessions Promises To ‘Get to Bottom Of Why’ Hillary Clinton’s Lawyer, Campaign Manager Still Not Going To Prison
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- More than a year and a half into the Donald Trump...
August 22, 2018
Religion
Satanic Goat Sacrifice and Skunk Fucking Cult Says Religious Liberty Task Force Allows Them To Discriminate Against Christians
LA ORINA DA SATANÁS, ARIZONA -- Seth Lindstrom, The High Chieftain of The Temple...
July 31, 2018
MAGA News
Lt. Commander Jesus Herbert Christ Reports For Duty On First Day on Trump’s Religious Freedom Space Task Force
CAPE CANVERAL, FLORIDA -- Lieutenant Commander Jesus Hubert Christ has officially checked in for his...
July 31, 2018
MAGA News
Emergency Crews Working To Remove Jeff Sessions From Package of E.L. Fudge Cookies
This story was first published on The Political Garbage Chute. WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time...
May 14, 2018
The War on Drugs
Jeff Sessions Says He’s Not Surprised ‘That Long Haired, Loony Liberal John Boehner’ Joined Marijuana Firm
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, it was announced that former Speaker of the House...
April 16, 2018
The War on Drugs
California Dispensary Returns Jeff Sessions’ Lost ID
EL DORADO VERDE VALLEY, CALIFORNIA -- Earlier this month, Attorney General Jeff Sessions made...
March 18, 2018
MAGA News
Robert Mueller Assures Andrew McCabe His Office Door Is Always Open, ‘Just In Case’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Late Friday night, Attorney General Jeff Sessions fired Deputy FBI Director...
March 17, 2018
MAGA News
Jeff Sessions Not Sure Trump’s Dick Tastes So Good After All
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General Jeff Sessions told a gathering of evangelical Christians in...
March 1, 2018
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Latest articles
Religion
Jesus Told Me Only “Fascist Incel Dorks” Don’t Like Separation of Church and State
"We told them to pay Caesar what's due to Caesar for a reason. Me-stianity...
July 10, 2024
Arts & Entertainment
Once I Learned to Read, I Realized The Left Actually Can and Does Meme
The following editorial was written by right-wing commentator and Trump White House official Dustin...
July 3, 2024
Lifestyle
God Told Me Oklahoma Kids Will Be ‘Stupid as Fuck’ After the Bible is Taught in Schools
"...do they really think it covers me in glory to have a bunch of...
June 28, 2024
U.S. Politics
Someone Accidentally Sent Me a Copy of The Biden/Trump Debate Questions
Don't ask me how it happened, but it would appear that someone at CNN...
June 27, 2024