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Man Is ‘Blown Away’ How Much ‘It Stinks’ That His Girlfriend Can’t Stop Farting...
BROWN CLOUD, CALIFORNIA -- He says that there is "absolutely no chance" of it breaking them up, but that doesn't mean 37 year old...
White House Admits It’s Been Feeding Trump Cheeseburgers and Calling Them Hydroxychloroquine
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Trump dropped quite a bombshell on the American people. After holding a roundtable discussion with business leaders on the...
Bill Gates Offers to Buy and Delete Elon Musk
SEATTLE, WASHINGTON -- Billionaire tech titan Bill Gates is reportedly close to making one of the biggest offers of his life to another another...
Man’s Dick Denies All Liability For His Actions
VILLAGE DES SaUCISSES, LOUISIANA -- Garth Blanston's dick does not and will not take any responsibility or the liability for anything Garth says or...
UPDATE: No YOU’RE Drinking Too Much During the Coronavirus Quarantine, Asshole!
Oh, oh, you think I've had too much to drink, do you? You think this is somekinda pattern lately, eh? You're all, like, "Boo...
Report: Ow! Fuck! Pins and Needles!
GREEN PORT, LOUISIANA -- Sources close to the situation are reporting that screams and shrieks were heard from the vicinity of 476 Thomas Rd...
White Claw Reveals Its 7 Least Popular Flavors
Adult beverage maker White Claw has become quite popular over the last year or so. Thanks its line of "hard seltzer" malt beverages, White...
4 Ways to Tell If You Use the Word “Sheeple” Too Much
There are certain words in the English language that are categorically terrible, stupid, idiotic words to use. We're not talking about words like the...
President Promises TrumpCare Will ‘Absolutely Cover Non-Existing Conditions’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump appears to be already jockeying for position in the 2020 presidential election season. Over the last few weeks,...
Incel Warns Left Hand Not to Expect Gifts Because Valentine’s Day Is a ‘Stupid...
LAKE NOHSECKS, FLORIDA-- Charles "Chuck" Charleston is a 24 year old self-described "incel." This means that Chuck is involuntarily celibate. Like nearly all incels,...
