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Trump Asks Ukraine to Dig Up Dirt on Sean Spicer’s Dancing With the Stars...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump is no stranger to needing help to win elections. He couldn't win in 2016 without the help...
Trump Orders Secret Service to Confiscate Greta Thunberg’s Staring Daggers
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- President Donald Trump has ordered the Secret Service to contact young climate activist Greta Thunberg, demanding they confiscate her...
Nancy Pelosi Still Can’t Find Her Constitutional Authority to Hold Trump Accountable
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- She knows she left it somewhere. She had it in her purse, or perhaps a hip pocket; she's not quite sure...
President Assures Skeptics Putin Gave Him Permission to Collude With Ukraine This Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- As buzz grows on the Hill surrounding reports that President Donald Trump pressured officials in the Ukraine government to help dig...
President Declares ‘National McMergency’ Because He Runs Out of Chicken Nugget Dipping Sauce
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Sources within the White House are confirming that this morning, at approximately 7:45 am a state of national emergency was declared...
President Orders DOJ to Investigate Obama For Being Better at Literally Everything Than He...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It is not a secret at all on the Hill that the current occupant of the White House is not a...
“I Guess I’ll Just Have to Bomb Iran All By Myself!”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A visibly upset John Bolton was seen angrily leaving the White House this morning, having tendered his resignation at the request...
Ted Cruz Offers to Lube Up and F_ _k a Gun to Show How...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- So far in 2019, CBS News reports that there have been more mass shootings than days on the calendar. One such...
FBI Report Shows U.S. Needs Just 400 Trillion More Thoughts and Prayers to Reduce...
"Platitudes are probably a way better idea at this point."
Trump Pardons Booth
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2018, former reality-TV star Donald Trump issuing a full presidential pardon to convicted felon and right-wing commentator Dinesh D'Souza. This...
