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President Trump Rushes Headlong Into White House Screening Of “Die Hard” And Runs Out...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump was witnessed by several people in his administration bravely charging into a screening room that was showing...
Trump’s Bone Spurs Refute President’s Claims He’d Run Into Mass Shooting With No Gun...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, during a meeting with the nation's governors, said that he would have probably charged headlong into...
#TwitterLockout: Trump Supporter Believes Purged Russian Bots Were Taken To Obama FEMA Camps
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- This week, conservatives and Trump supporters on Twitter began panicking when they started to notice their follower counts drop...
Trump Offers To Grab Mitt Romney’s Binders By The Pussy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, former Massachusetts governor, failed 2012 Republican presidential candidate, and all-around nice robot Mitt Romney announced his candidacy for outgoing Utah...
Trump Has Moment Of Silence For Parkland Victims Before Slicing Tee Shot And Screaming,...
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- The President of the United States held a private, solemn ceremony today, honoring the victims and survivors of the horrific mass...
Trump Worried He Hasn’t Made The Murder Of School Children About Him Enough
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDA -- This morning, President Trump was stopped by reporters as he existed the clubhouse, headed for the first tee on the course...
Trump Supporter Wants Florida Added To Trump’s Muslim Ban List
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Jethro Bohiggins is a die hard Donald Trump supporter, and he even has a tattoo on his right buttock...
Trump: ‘There Are Good People On Both Sides Of Robert Mueller’s Indictments’
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump, while watching Fox News in the Oval Office with his feet up on the Resolute Desk,...
Trump Jr. Mail Attack Causes Alex Jones’ Head To Literally Explode
CARE CHINGADO, TEXAS -- At this hour, medical professionals in the Lone Star State are confirming that right-wing commentator, entertainer, and professional conspiracy theorist...
White House Unveils Cat Food Brands Trump’s Budget Proposal Lets SNAP Recipients Choose From
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Under President Donald Trump's proposed budget, the federal government would drastically overhaul how the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP, works....
