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Trump: “Ivanka and I Fell In Love With Thighland on Our Honeymoon”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, President Donald Trump surprised the world and declared the existence of a new, previously unmapped country known as "Thighland."
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Trump: “Some Very Fine People Pimped Out Little Girls for Jeffrey Epstein and His...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Once again today, the President of the United States of America seemed to offer at least a tacit, passive defense of...
Lahren: “All Lives Matter Except When You Need to Die for The Economy”
VAPID ATTENTION WHORE, CALIFORNIA -- Fox News contributing racist Tabitha Lahren said during a segment on Fox & Morons this morning that she still "very...
Trump Pledges 10,000 Flotation Devices to ‘Help the Mexicans Survive’ Cinco de Mayo
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- A perhaps confused President Trump began his day this morning by making what he later told aides he felt was a...
Trump Calls William Shatner to Wish Him Happy May The 4th
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, fans of the iconic film franchise Star Wars are celebrating the legacy of a movie series that spawned billions of dollars in...
Trump Promises to Defeat the Coronavirus With the Electoral College
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald J. Trump has vowed on multiple occasions to lead the United States in its effort to defeat COVID-19, or...
Vice President Pence: “I’m Just Used To Leaving the House With The President’s Rectum...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- High Priest Vice President Mike Pence held a hastily thrown together press conference earlier this morning. The sole purpose behind it...
Doctors Confirm Nancy’s Are Bigger Than Trump’s
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Doctors in the D.C. area have confirmed for the American public this morning that Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA)...
President Retweets Klan Poll Showing 100% Impeachment Disapproval
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President of the United States has found himself in a pitched battle for the continuation of his presidential administration. Last...
Trump: Only People Who Voted For Him Should Have First Amendment Rights
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2016, less than a month after being the conclusion of one of the most hotly contested political campaigns of all...
