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Rittenhouse Offered to Shoot Someone on 5th Avenue for Trump During Their Mar-A-Lago Meeting
MAR-A-LAGO, FLORIDUH -- Former, one term, tiny-donged, daughter lusting, twice forever impeached President Don Trump revealed recently that he and acquitted double-murderer Kyle Rittenhouse...
Tucker Carlson: Dark Meat ‘Doesn’t Belong’ Next to White Meat on His Dinner...
When Fox News host Tucker Carlson sits down to eat Thanksgiving Dinner with his entire klan tomorrow, there better not be a single scrap...
Judge Schroeder Invites Rittenhouse Over for Thanksgiving Dinner
KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- This morning, Alternative Facts reported that Wendy Rittenhouse, mother of acquitted murderer Kyle Rittenhouse, wasn't sure which table her son should sit at...
Rittenhouse’s Mother Unsure Whether to Seat Him at Kids’ Table or Murderer’s Table
ORENTHAL, ILLINOIS -- For the first time in over a year, Wendy Rittenhouse will have her son back home for Thanksgiving later this week....
House Janitorial Staff Still Cleaning Up Verbal Diarrhea From Boebert’s Defense of Gosar
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In a free society, one that values and encourages freedom of speech, there can be unintended consequences. This morning janitorial crews...
Rittenhouse Judge Instructs Jurors to Plug Ears, Shout ‘La La La’ During Prosecution’s Closing
KENOSHA, WISCONSIN -- As prosecutors in the Kyle Rittenhouse trial present their closing arguments, jurors will not be permitted to listen to them. Judge...
Trump’s CPAC 2021 Speech Was So Full of Shit, He Had to Write it...
This weekend, former, one-term, twice-permanently impeached President Donald J. Trump retreated to a place of familiar comfort, a safe space for his ego. In...
120 Republicans Vote to Make Confederate Statue Speaker of the House
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Shortly after voting against the removal of all statues of confederate figures from the capitol grounds, 120 Republican members of Congress...
Tom Cotton Would Support D.C.’s Statehood if It Was White and Pointy
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In 2019, the population of the District of Columbia was roughly 692,000 people. By comparison, each Dakota's population clocks in at...
Tucker Carlson Didn’t See any Signs of White Supremacy at Cross Burning
NEW YORK, NEW YORK -- On last night's episode of his Fox News television program, Tucker Carlson told his audience that he "just couldn't...
