Totally Bulls*it News

Why Did The Secretary of Defense Text Me Dick Pics and Nuclear Launch Codes?

"I'm Prince of War now, got it? I'll do what I want. Text what and who I want." Well, that was a new one. I...

Hillary Clinton Offers to Represent Roger Stone at Future Parole Hearings

LAKE FOREST, NEW YORK -- Former Secretary of State and 2016...

5 Reasons You Should Not Vote for Bernie Sanders

Should you vote for Bernie Sanders? We have no clue. Seriously....

Middle-Aged Man Should Probably Be Better at Fucking By Now

LAGO DEL FLACIDO, CALIFORNIA -- Skip Languido is a 42 year...

Trump Campaign Buys Hundreds of Thousands of Tiki Torches in Anticipation of Rally Crowd Sizes

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump's re-election campaign issued a financial...

Bloomberg Offers $500 to Any Voter Who Lets Him Stop and Frisk Them

FORT OLIE GARK, SOUTH CAROLINA -- At a campaign stop in...

Barr: DOJ Wants to Give Roger Stone Credit for Time Served Under Trump’s Balls

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Attorney General William Barr wrote a letter to...

Trump Appoints Giuliani as DOJ’s New Director of Democrat Investigations

WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This week, Attorney General William Barr admitted that...

WDC Launching ‘Disney-‘ Streaming Service for Customers With Trump Level IQs

HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- At this point, a couple of months since...