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Satirist
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Criminal Justice
Donald Trump Finding Out
Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have...
August 15, 2023
Economy
I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?
I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that...
May 3, 2023
MAGA News
Televangelist Publishes “MAGA-Friendly” Bible Just Three Pages Long
HOLY OAK, VIRGINIA -- Bill Millen, a self-described "televangelist for Trump," told his flock...
October 30, 2020
MAGA News
Merriam-Webster Redefines the Word “Cunty”
The fact of the matter is that English, like all language, is an artform...
October 28, 2020
MAGA News
Ivanka: “How Come Debates Are the Only Things Daddy Can Pull Out Of?”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The Actual First Lady was, according to several sources close to...
October 8, 2020
MAGA News
Biden Thanks Orange Garbage Bag Full of Molten, Diarrhea for Preparing Him to Debate Trump
CLEVELAND, OHIO -- Tonight, after months of anticipation, the first presidential debate of the...
September 29, 2020
Immigration
Mike Pence Explains How Ripping Wombs Out of Immigrant Women is Pro-Life and Not Permanent Abortion
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning Vice President High Priest Michael Pence was asked to...
September 18, 2020
Women's Rights
Tom Cotton Can’t Wait to Be All Up Inside Your Pussies, America
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Maybe it won't happen. In order for it to happen, not...
September 10, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Appoints Himself CEO of TikTok
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- It's no big secret on the Hill that President Donald Trump...
August 11, 2020
Science & Medicine
TikTok Changes Name to COVID-19 So Trump Will Leave Them Alone
CULVER CITY, CALIFORNIA -- In an effort to fend off a regulatory slap and...
August 7, 2020
Arts & Entertainment
President Will Distribute Copies of Mary Trump’s Book at Future MAGA Rallies
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump cannot be all that thrilled about his niece...
July 21, 2020
MAGA News
Trump Suggests Adult Film Industry Rename ATMs to “Doing a McEnany”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, it's still not quite clear how...
July 16, 2020
Science & Medicine
Mickey and Minnie Mouse Sue Disney After Being Hospitalized With COVID-19 Symptoms
WHORELANDO, FLORIDA -- In what can surely be described as a truly unforeseen turn...
July 15, 2020
Science & Medicine
CDC Warns Libertarians: There Is No Nerd Immunity from COVID-19
ATLANTA, GEORGIA -- The Centers for Disease Control has issued an urgent warning to...
July 14, 2020
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Latest articles
Criminal Justice
Donald Trump Finding Out
Well...shit. How did this end up happening, anyway? Doesn't everyone indicting him understand the rules have...
August 15, 2023
Economy
I Live in Arkansas. Can My 10 Year Old Work as a Bouncer at a Drag Bar?
I moved to Arkansas before I was a father, so I can't say that...
May 3, 2023
LGTBQ+
Jesus: “Silencing Transgender People Isn’t Christian, It’s Cunty”
"I specifically told people to stop being judgmental little twatwaffles to everyone." In Montana, elected...
May 3, 2023
Criminal Justice
A Complete List of All the 2024 Presidential Candidates Currently on Trial for Rape
In New York City, a former President of the United States is being sued...
May 2, 2023
