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Trump Asks The President Of Texas To Address Austin Bomber
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, authorities in Texas say that a fifth bomb bound for Austin exploded.
This time, however, marks the first bomb that...
Trump Lists Three Branches Of Government: “National, Rifle, Association”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Inside the Oval Office today, President Donald Trump's staff was busy preparing him for the 2020 election.
Although votes will not be...
Trump Boasts Passing Of Stephen Hawking Makes Him #6,999,999,999 On World’s Smartest People List
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The world is mourning the loss of one of its most renowned and brilliant minds, Dr. Stephen Hawking. The famed physicist...
Kim Jong Un, Trump Agree To Keep Summit Focused On Who Has Bigger Dick,...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Last week, the world was taken aback when South Korea announced that after talks with North Korea, President Donald Trump would...
Trump Says He’ll Enact Russian Sanctions As Soon As The Kremlin Gives Him Permission
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In July of 2017 the United States Congress sent economic sanctions against Russia for their role in undermining the 2016 presidential...
Trump Says He’s Found Obama’s Wakanda Birth Certificate
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- In an unforeseen but perhaps truly world changing series of events, President Donald Trump announced this morning that he had made...
White House Unveils Cat Food Brands Trump’s Budget Proposal Lets SNAP Recipients Choose From
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Under President Donald Trump's proposed budget, the federal government would drastically overhaul how the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program, or SNAP, works....
John Kelly Assures Trump He Won’t Be Only Misogynist Woman Abuser In White House...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Yesterday, after two of his ex-wives came forward with allegations that he was physically and verbally abusive toward them, White House...
Pentagon Says Trump Military Parade Will Feature Live Suicides And Homeless Vets
Make America North Korea Again!
Economy Halts As 93% Of Americans Who Don’t Root For Egomaniacal Cheaters Too Hungover...
Most people are too hungover after watching the Patriots lose the Super Bowl to go to go work.
