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Trump Confident Putin Won’t Lose to Anyone on Democratic Debate Stage
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters on the south lawn of the White House on his way out to big up a deep fried...
Trump Campaign to Hold Amazon Kindle Burning
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The President Trump re-election campaign has announced that they will be holding a bonfire in the Detroit area this evening. The...
Trump Was ‘On the Way’ to Help First Responders on 9/11, But Decided to...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Donald Trump signed permanent funding for 9/11 first responders into law. The effort to secure a never-ending source of...
Trump Campaign Debuts New 2020 Slogan: “If She’s Brown, Deport Her Down”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The reelection campaign for President Mushroompenis Trump has rolled out a fresh new slogan, and it's sure to create quite a...
Trump Jokingly Refers to Honest Abe’s Wife as “The Lincoln Tunnel”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Trump was forced to issue a hasty apology to the Lincoln Family Trust this morning after a hot mic picked...
Trump Names First Lady as New Ambassador to the United Kingston
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, President Donald Trump announced that he was appointing his First Lady to be the new American ambassador to the...
Boris Johnson Announces He’s a Cheap Chinese Trump Knockoff from Factory Owned by Ivanka
MERRY OLD LONDONTOWNSHIRESHIP, ENGLAND -- This morning, former London Mayor Boris Johnson found out he was going to be the next Prime Minister of...
Trump Nominated for the Nobel Prize in Bigotry
OSLO, NORWAY -- The very first Nobel Prize in the fields of "racism, race baiting, and race-based fear mongering" will be awarded later this...
MAGA Boy Says His Wedding Made It The Best Family Reunion Yet
COLD CAVE HILLS, TENNESSEE -- Right-wing podcaster and singer/songwriter Jethro Bohiggins told his audience today that he had the "time of life" at...
Trump: “I Could Lynch Someone on 5th Avenue, But That Doesn’t Mean I’m Racist,...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- President Donald Trump reporters today that he's "pretty sure" he's not racist, although he admitted that it's "been tough to tell...
