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Jesus Christ Reminds Americans Thoughts and Prayers Aren’t Made of Kevlar
KINGDOM OF HEAVEN, ETERNITY -- This morning, the Executive Vice-President of Holy Trinity Inc. held a press conference and addressedm among other things, mass...
Trump Official: IG Report Indicates Comey Was Second Gunman on Grassy Knoll and Helped...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This morning, the Office of the Inspector General released a report on the actions of fired FBI Director James Comey. Mr....
Classic TV Show Being Rebooted, Will Focus on Trump Administration
HOLLYWOO, CALIFORNIA -- During the decade known as the 1980's, there were many hit TV shows for audiences to enjoy. One such show was...
Hurricane Dorian Makes Preemptive Strike Against U.S. Nuclear Arsenal
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- At the time of publication, the Pentagon is confirming that the United States military is formulating a response to an unforeseen...
Bush Says Trump Should Know How to Pronounce ‘Nookular Weapons’ Before He Uses Them...
CABEZA MIERDA, TEXAS -- Former President George W. Bush left the public spotlight in January of 2009 when Barack Obama was sworn in as...
Trump: “I Didn’t Consider Nuking Hurricanes Because Everyone Knows You Nuke Tornadoes”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- This past weekend, Axios published a story that suggested President Donald Trump has on multiple occasions suggested to his advisers that the United...
Trump Calls Domino’s Pizza “The Enemy of the People” for Forgetting His Hot Wing...
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- The list of people, businesses, and government officials who President Donald Trump has referred to as an "enemy of the people"...
Trump Hereby Orders Burger King to Always Give Him Extra Ketchup Packets
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Today, President Trump broke yet new rhetorical ground in his presidency. In what many described as a fit of rage, the...
Trump: “David Koch Would Have Never Died If He’d Donated to My Campaign”
WASHINGTON, D.C. -- Speaking to reporters from the lawn of the White House, Marine One's propeller blades spinning loudly in the background, President Donald...
David Koch’s Estate Sale to Include Several Republican Politicians
GALT, KANSAS -- Billionaire industrialist and Republican mega-donor David Koch passed away after a long battle with prostate cancer, the family announced this morning....
