Don’t adjust your television sets, there is in fact another dogfight at the top of the polls for the GOP Presidential hopefuls. Mitt “No One Likes Me!” Romney and Rick “Stop Having Fun in the Bedroom” Santorum are now fighting it out, with Santorum taking the edge in a few polls. The recent uptick in momentum for Santorum came from winning three Republican primaries, courting the Social Conservative vote by attacking President Obama’s religious beliefs as well as espousing his own, old-fashioned views of the world.
I’m not sure if it’s more funny or tragic just how old school Santorum really is. After all, anyone who caught any of his buddy and chief financial backer Foster Friess’ insanely arcane posturing that in his days “gals” would put an Aspirin between their knees to encourage a chaste purity as opposed to getting their “fuck” on, thereby mitigating the need for an abortion altogher.
Because you know, babies were never conceived out of wedlock back in the good ol’ days, right? It’s not like women had to be ushered off to back-alley abortion clinics with less than sanitary conditions and without regulatory oversight, which ultimately led to Roe v. Wade passing in an attempt to humanize the process and ensure the health and well-being of the pregnant woman, right?
It struck me that if people like Rick Santorum had his way, we wouldn’t just be living under the social morays of the 1950s, we’d be tethered to religous dogma written just decades or less after the death of Jesus Christ himself. Santorum often points to Bible scripture for guidance in legislating and governance, and he’s not afraid to use the Old Testament view on homosexuality, for instance, to shape his stance on marriage equality, as well as simple human equality.
In other words, he’s a lunatic with terribly bigoted and ignorant views of what homosexuality actually is.
But the real question is, “Just how far is Rick Santorum” willing to take the country into Biblical law? I wonder if Santorum has really read all of the Bible, if he’s willing to use it as the ultimate divining rod of moral purity.
Would he oppose:
The truly ironic part of Santorum’s use of his religious texts to justify his stance on abortion is that the Bible itself is at best unclear on abortion, and actually lists several passages that advocate the murder of unborn children of unfaithful women who became pregnant via sex with someone besides their husband (or sex-slave owner of course, because that’s all legit, remember?)One has to legitimately wonder if Santorum would prefer a society without vaginas at all.
With as much disdain as he has for those who actually possess them, and coupled with what his own Bible tells him, it’s not a crazy assumption that Santorum would sign an executive order forbidding vaginal activity of any kind. Sure, there could be some interesting outcomes of such behavior, like you know, the extinction of mankind, but at least women would finally be back in their rightful, God-given place.
Goddamn, will someone please just blow this guy, for all our sake?
Another fascinating thought is if Rick Santorum’s Cream Dream for America 2012 includes taking back all the scientific progress of the last couple thousand years so we can use leeches to cure ailments, and we can replace all our silly round globes with nice, flat sheets. After all, if the Bible is the only marker by which he’ll make decisions on what’s right and wrong for the country, then why should he bother listening to someone like a scientist? Science is for sinners and non-believers.
If only there was a verse in the Bible that told the Religious Right to stop raping the Earth for her resources and to stay out of vaginae they don’t personally own.
No Abortion, But Plenty of Sex Slavery: Rick Santorum’s Vision for America?
I’m not sure if it’s more funny or tragic just how old school Santorum really is. After all, anyone who caught any of his buddy and chief financial backer Foster Friess’ insanely arcane posturing that in his days “gals” would put an Aspirin between their knees to encourage a chaste purity as opposed to getting their “fuck” on, thereby mitigating the need for an abortion altogher.
Because you know, babies were never conceived out of wedlock back in the good ol’ days, right? It’s not like women had to be ushered off to back-alley abortion clinics with less than sanitary conditions and without regulatory oversight, which ultimately led to Roe v. Wade passing in an attempt to humanize the process and ensure the health and well-being of the pregnant woman, right?
It struck me that if people like Rick Santorum had his way, we wouldn’t just be living under the social morays of the 1950s, we’d be tethered to religous dogma written just decades or less after the death of Jesus Christ himself. Santorum often points to Bible scripture for guidance in legislating and governance, and he’s not afraid to use the Old Testament view on homosexuality, for instance, to shape his stance on marriage equality, as well as simple human equality.
In other words, he’s a lunatic with terribly bigoted and ignorant views of what homosexuality actually is.
But the real question is, “Just how far is Rick Santorum” willing to take the country into Biblical law? I wonder if Santorum has really read all of the Bible, if he’s willing to use it as the ultimate divining rod of moral purity.
Would he oppose:
The truly ironic part of Santorum’s use of his religious texts to justify his stance on abortion is that the Bible itself is at best unclear on abortion, and actually lists several passages that advocate the murder of unborn children of unfaithful women who became pregnant via sex with someone besides their husband (or sex-slave owner of course, because that’s all legit, remember?)One has to legitimately wonder if Santorum would prefer a society without vaginas at all.
With as much disdain as he has for those who actually possess them, and coupled with what his own Bible tells him, it’s not a crazy assumption that Santorum would sign an executive order forbidding vaginal activity of any kind. Sure, there could be some interesting outcomes of such behavior, like you know, the extinction of mankind, but at least women would finally be back in their rightful, God-given place.
Goddamn, will someone please just blow this guy, for all our sake?
If only there was a verse in the Bible that told the Religious Right to stop raping the Earth for her resources and to stay out of vaginae they don’t personally own.
Sound off!
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